


Footing

by AuthorInDistress



Series: Anna Maria Stark [2]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alpha/Omega, Kid Fic, M/M, Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Not Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Compliant, Past Relationship(s), Post Mpreg, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-02
Updated: 2019-01-02
Packaged: 2019-10-02 21:15:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,982
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17271254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AuthorInDistress/pseuds/AuthorInDistress
Summary: After Thanos snapped his fingers, the remaining Avengers live out in a Bunker to plan how they'll find and kill him.





	Footing

**Author's Note:**

> So a note: 
> 
> This is post Infinity War but with the plot tweaked so no one had to go out to Space.
> 
> Except Thor.

.

* * *

.

There was a plane in the middle of Central Park.

Occasionally, when out, Tony would stop to stare at it and sometimes he'd even pray too. Most of his prayers were similar to ones that he had at other sites and they were for those that had been killed aboard planes or trains and so forth and for those that had died beneath them. He also prayed that when -  _when -_ those that had been dusted returned that they'd never have to look at those bodies the way that so many had had to before.

Since this plane’s crash, everything had been cleared away by anyone able and the graveyards were as full as ever but it was still a haunting sight. Humanity had mourned for four years on for many like it but it didn't feel remotely close to healing yet, though they were getting there. Everything everywhere had changed however, and there was a very strong probability that it would never go back to how it had been.

Too many had died, too many had been dusted, too many were lost and missing and too many had taken advantage. Looters and burglars and kidnappers had crawled out of the wood-works and everywhere he looked he felt reminded of all those apocalypse movies that Peter had always mentioned; the roads had empty cars and people kept to themselves, locked away in their homes. All they needed now were zombies.

The remaining Avengers hadn't been given a good light in all this either and had actually been blamed for not stopping this from happening in the first place. One of Tony's private bunkers had been put to use for them, mainly because it was so hidden, and they lived out there now. Occasionally, one of them left to get food for their rations or supplies or to just see if there was anyone that needed help in any way unrelated to Thanos' disaster but mostly they stayed away to lick at their wounds and to plan.

Today was Tony's turn to do a run and he used one of his armours to travel back to the tower, which had since been overtaken by a mob that had destroyed nearly all the rooms, stolen all his valuables, and had then left when it hadn't interested them anymore. He picked his way through the wreckage until he found a few bits of tech that he could use and had then scoured for food and clothes in any abandoned stores on the way home.

A mile away from the bunker, he stored his armour underground and walked the rest of the way to keep the its location as secret as he could. The Avengers were more than equipped with dealing with angry civilians but he had a child to think about and that was a risk he was never going to take. He entered the code to come inside and was met with warmth, the frost on his shoes melting on the Welcome rug.

This cabin had originally been built to be a romantic or honeymoon get-away, for when he'd eventually brave a bond, but after everything that had happened in his life that hadn't become likely so this was as good a use as any. He dropped his bag on the kitchen counter and took his shoes off, pulling on the woolly socks that he'd left on the stool to walk over carpet toward the stairs.

Anna was in 'her room', which was also Steve and Tony's, and she was fast asleep already when he saw her. Unfortunately, under her hand was a storybook and it was one that he recognised too, which was beyond frustrating. He gently pulled it free and looked down at its cover, his blood warming with anger as he stormed out of the room to hunt Steve down.

He found him in the laundry room, folding away a pair of pants from the dryer, and he snapped his head up when Tony slammed the book down on the rest of the clothes.

"What the hell is this?" He demanded and Steve picked it up, raising an eyebrow.

"I ...  _believe_  that's Jack and the Beanstalk." He said, sounding amused, "But I could be wrong."

"This isn't a joke, Steve," Tony said, "I've told you a million times about this, I - this has to be the last time now, okay? No fairytales! I don't want Anna getting stupid ideas, it's _dangerous!"_

Steve put the book down, "Tony. It's a book about a magical beanstalk, I think she's smarter than that."

Tony snorted, "Steve, her Uncle Bruce turns into a Big Green Monster on the occasional tantrum, a  _beanstalk_  is not out of the realm of possibilities!"

"Then what is the problem?" He started folding again, "If it could be true? Isn't it better to have something magical to believe in?"

"It's a problem because beanstalks go  _up,"_ Tony snapped, holding the book and jabbing a finger at the cover, "And 'Jack' defeats the giant from  _space_  with an axe!"

Steve paused, "She won't see it that way."

"You just said she's smart," Tony countered, throwing the book down once again and putting both hands to his head, sighing, "God Steve, if I'm co-parenting with you, you need to listen. She's asking every _day_ to go outside, I don't need you to encourage her." He sat down on the washing basket, shutting his eyes, and after a moment he heard Steve step around the clothes to crouch in front of him.

"Hey. I'm sorry," He felt a hand on his shoulder and looked up, "I didn't think," Steve picked the book back up and tucked it into his jacket, "I'll get rid of it."

Staring at him for a moment, Tony pushed his anger back, "Thank you." He stood and fixed the lid that he'd just sat on, adding, "While we’re on the subject of listening though, she shouldn't nap before dinner."

Steve nodded, "Sorry again."

Tony scowled at his tone, "You know, parenting is a two-person job Steve, you're supposed to remember these things," He sighed, feeling utterly drained and it must have been obvious because Steve wrapped his arms around him from behind and pulled him in close.

"I know that," He said in his ear, "But parenting is also supposed to be a little less of a job than you make it out to be." He felt like arguing that but the hug felt far too good to ruin, "And she only just went down, if you wake her, she can eat and then sleep."

"She shouldn't sleep right after she's eaten either."

"Then we'll have a late dinner," Steve compromised, "Nat's out anyway."

Tony pulled away, "What? Where? Why? I did the supply run today."

"She went out looking for Clint again." Steve told him, leaving the laundry for now and walking them both down to the kitchen, "She says he wouldn't go back to the farm after what happened but she goes there every now-and-again anyway, just to check."

Tony sat at the counter while Steve looked through the bag that he'd brought, worrying over his bottom lip with his teeth, "God I can't imagine how he must feel." He shook his head, "It feels so unfair. For  _all_  of them to have been taken? Jesus."

"We don't know it was all of them, he could have someone with him."

He nodded, making a face, "Still."

"Yeah I know. But all we can do now is continue to plan," Steve said, "And hope that when we defeat Thanos, we can bring them back." He pulled free the cans that Tony had found and put them away in the cupboards, along with packets of instant noodles and soup, and then a large Barbie Doll. He held it a little longer before eventually giving Tony a look.

"It's her birthday soon," He explained, taking the doll and hiding it back in the bag.

"She said she wanted a superhero doll." Steve reminded him.

"Yeah and I said I don't want her to have anything with weapons on it." He sighed, "Believe me, okay, Steve. I'd love to give her whatever she really wants but right now, keeping her safe is all that matters. She'll be fine with any doll."

"If you say so." He counted everything that he'd packed away and added it to the inventory list that they had hanging in the kitchen. There was a picture of the Hulk, drawn crudely with crayon and stuck to the fridge beside it, and it made Tony smile every time he saw it.

For whatever reason, children seemed to love Bruce's alter-ego, Anna included. She’d seen the Hulk only a few times in her life however so he must have made quite the impression. The first time she’d seen him had been when she’d just turned 6 months old, though he doubted she remembered that. Or at least he hoped.

Four years ago, he'd returned to New York with his baby in the middle of the negotiations for whether the Rogue Avengers could return or not. Before anything official could have been decided however, Thanos had sent his 'children' to attack Earth.

Tony had left Anna with Pepper and during the fight, the Hulk had fallen from the sky to join them. With the Parker kid, two Wizards, his new nano-tech that fit over a recently pregnant belly and the Hulk, they'd given a pretty good fight.

Once the Rogues had arrived for the meeting that they were supposed to have had however, the fight was theirs. They’d won.

But that had been their only victory.

In Wakanda, Vision had been killed despite their efforts and even with Thor back, Thanos had won. He'd gotten everything.

Strange had given him the Time-stone in exchange for Tony's life, he'd used it to gain the Mind-stone from Vision, and when he'd snapped his fingers people had started to disappear. Barnes had gone first and Tony hadn't felt any of the absolution that he'd thought he might have felt to see it; instead he'd felt fear. Terror.

Wanda had gone next, Parker had gone in his arms, and by then all he could think had been _Anna_. He’d had to get to Anna.

He'd flown from the scene, leaving behind a broken team surrounded by dust, but at the time he hadn't cared about anything but his baby.

He'd landed outside his tower to see Pepper running for him with Anna in her arms and he'd caught her just as she'd crumpled into nothing. He'd turned to see civilians all around him reacting in shock and grief when their loved ones blew away into the wind and nothing would ever compare to that sick feeling that he’d had in his stomach.  

Pepper had suddenly been nothing but a pile of ashes at his feet and he'd fallen to his knees once he’d processed that, gasping for breath as Anna had wailed in his ear. Rhodey had found him not one minute later and had flown him away from what became a frenzied rampage of confused and terrified people.

Now, the six of them all lived together in this bunker, using each of Tony's satellites to try and figure out where the hell Thanos had hidden himself. If they found him, they could fight him. And if they fought him, they could kill him.

In the meantime, he also had to raise a four-year-old who hadn't stepped outside once in her entire life and who felt like she deserved to. And she did but it just wasn't safe.

By seven o’clock, dinner was ready and Natasha was back. She seemed to be in a foul mood too so they left her alone and set the table for everyone else. Rhodey scouted nights and worked with the army during the day, so whenever he was home he was here only to catch up on his sleep or to eat, which made him the first one down as always.

“Hey honey,” Tony greeted him, tilting his head for the kiss he knew he’d get on his cheek, “Sleep well?”

“Great, thanks,” Rhodey answered, taking one of the jugs and filling it with water.

Bruce followed him down and again, like usual, he looked like hell. Since the battle, he’d had trouble with the Hulk which had also caused him trouble sleeping and he now tried to solve that by drinking as much as possible. It never made much of an effect, the Other Guy soaked it all up, but he looked the part of an alcoholic nonetheless. He was unshaven, barely-dressed, and had a bottle in hand everywhere he went.

Tony took it from him as he passed, hiding it away before Anna woke and saw it. Bruce let him, sitting at the table and sighing.

Thor had elected to leave Earth three years ago with Rocket and to return with news of Thanos when he found it, which had left Anna with only two Uncles. Tony was just glad that Rhodey could respond enough to her questions and not just stare into space like Bruce did, though she never seemed to mind others letting her chatter away without telling her to be quiet.

He turned to go wake her but as though she’d been summoned by his thoughts, she padded into the room with only one sock on.

“Hi Daddy,” She said mid-yawn and Tony picked her up to give her a kiss, putting her down on a chair once he was done.

“Hi baby girl,” He tucked her chair in for her, “How was your nap?”

“I had a book,” She told him, frowning, “Did I lost it?” Steve glanced up when Tony turned to look at him and he cleared his throat.

“Uh, no Anna, you didn’t lose it,” He said, “I just – realised that that book is really stupid and that you’re much too smart for it. I’ll find you a better one.” Tony narrowed his eyes, “It might take me a while though.”

“That’s okay, Mr Rogers,” She yawned again, “I know you’re very busy.”

Steve smiled, soft in a way he never was with anyone else, “Thank you for understanding Miss Stark.”   


Once everyone started to eat, Natasha came back down and took her place at the table, filling her plate with mostly rice and shoving it into her mouth. No one asked her how her visit to the farm had been as it was very clear that she had still not found Clint. Considering how hard it was to differentiate between piles of ash, Tony wondered why she never just assumed that Clint had been taken as well. He wasn't stupid enough to say this to her however because he knew how fragile hope could be.

Looking for her friend was probably a distraction that she needed and god knew they could all use those. He was in desperate need of one himself but with caring for Anna and trying to save the Universe, he just didn’t have the time.

He was sure one day that would make him snap but at the moment, he needed to be the only fully-awake and level-headed one in a bunker with an angry spy, an alcoholic scientist/Hulk, a barely-there Air Force officer, a four-year-old and a super soldier that seemed to be more concerned with domestics than the bigger picture. He knew Steve took a back-seat because Tony seemed so in control but some days he felt as though everyone had a chance to grieve and process this all except for him.

Because for the sake of his child, he couldn’t afford to fall off the rails, even for just a moment.

Once they’d all eaten, as per an unspoken routine, whoever cooked the meal that day would clean up as well, and so Tony and Steve washed the dishes between them and packed everything away. Bruce stayed at the table, staring down at his tablet and scrolling through streams of information with a dark frown while Rhodey stayed to talk to Anna.

Natasha was gone again as soon as she was finished and Tony kept quiet when he saw tears in her eyes, refusing to even double-take in case someone else noticed them too.

"Uncle Rhodey," Anna was sat in Rhodey's lap, fiddling with his dog-tags, "Why do you smell so weird?"

Tony turned, both exasperated and amused, "Anna - " But Rhodey only laughed.

"Probably because I haven't showered in a few days," He said and she scrunched up her nose, "Yeah I know, it's pretty gross. I just haven't had the time."

"You have time now," She pointed out and he raised an eyebrow.

"Oh is that so? You want me to leave, huh?" He was teasing but she immediately shook her head.

"No, I want you to stay!" She said, "But I want you to smell nice too! It's good to be clean." Bruce looked up from his tablet at that, smiling a little, before returning to his work. Tony just shook his head, drying the glass in his hands.

"It is good to be clean, Anna," Steve agreed, "But there's a nicer way to say it."

"Was I rude?" She asked, sounding confused, "I'm sorry."

"It's okay little lady," Rhodey laughed, "It wasn't that rude, Cap's just a stick-in-the-mud."

"Well in my day, that would have earned a slap." Steve noted lightly and Tony scoffed.

"In your day, she wouldn't be allowed to Vote." He countered and Steve looked at him.

"She can't right now either. Unless Thanos is handing out ballots." Tony opened the cupboard to put the glass away, rolling his eyes.

Hours later, Bruce was back in his room with the bottle that he'd found and Rhodey had returned to the Army.

As she'd already napped, Anna was wide awake now and because it was Steve's  _fault_ , Tony left her with him to entertain and went to find Natasha. After dark, they tried to be quieter to keep their location secret, so every step he took creaked in the now silent house. He could hear Anna and Steve whispering downstairs and knew that he was playing a game with her of some kind and Bruce was locked away in his room.

Natasha's was beside his and he wondered if she was asleep but when he knocked, she opened the door immediately, like she'd been expecting him.

"I'm fine," She said before he could ask, closing the door after him, "I had a moment, it happens. But I’m fine."

"Are you sure?" He thought to check anyway, looking about her room and seeing what looked like the aftermath of a small breakdown, "Did you need help tidying after this tornado?"

She sighed, running a hand through her hair, "No. Tidying it up will just make me want to do it all over again." She pushed past him to sit over the edge of the bed, her face pinched and pinking with fresh anger. Tony stepped over a pile of what looked like rats but was probably wigs and joined her.

He sat still for a moment, quietly focused on not speaking, before she turned to him with a huff, "How did you forgive me?" She demanded and he blinked.

"I'm sorry?"

"For what happened during our fight, years ago.” She clarified, “I let Steve and Barnes go, remember?"

"Oh I remember." He drawled, shifting to face her a little better.

"So how did you forgive me?" She repeated, looking a little manic now, "For what I did. I'll admit it took me a while to see it from your side but when I did, I felt like shit."

"Natas - "

"But you forgave me." She shook her head, "You forgave us all. ...how?"

He sighed, shrugging slowly, "I kind of had to." He admitted, "I didn't have the time to think it over or worry about my feelings, the world was being attacked. And it's been so long now, it doesn't really matter anymore."

"So you've forgiven everything because time heals." She scoffed, "Steve lied about your parents, Barnes killed them, I let them go and shut a metaphorical door in your face. But times heals." She stood, pacing.

"I think it's a little more complicated than that." Tony said, refusing the bait of the insult in her tone because he knew that that was what she wanted right now but not what she needed. An argument would not help matters, "Cap and I have a child together, I can't loathe him. We co-parent. And Barnes - it wasn't him, he didn't kill them, and he's gone now anyway. I can't hate an innocent dead man, what the hell would that make me?"

"Justified." She snapped and he rolled his eyes.

"Maybe." He folded his arms across his chest, "But as for you letting them go, that's a trust thing. You and I, we don't trust people and you  _know_  I don't trust you. I'd trust you with my life but not my secrets and that's okay, it's how we are, and I  _got over it."_

"What if I wanted you to trust me?" She asked.

"Then you'd have to earn it." He stayed blunt, knowing now what this was about, "And vice-versa." She turned to him, meeting his gaze, "So what secret do you want me to know?"

Giving him a long, long look, she sat back down and stared at him for a moment before eventually blowing out her cheeks and very visibly deciding to tell him, "I found Clint."

Judging from her reaction, this wasn't good news, "Was he ... ?"

"He wasn't ash." She shook her head, angry again, "He's fine. He's  _been_  fine. Turns out he knew I've been watching the Farm and he's been evading me."

Tony frowned, "Why?"

"I don't know," She threw her hands up, "I don't understand. His family died, that part we guessed and it's true. They turned to dust but - I don't understand why he wouldn't come to us." Her inability to understand this was obviously what had really gotten her so angry in the first place.

"Well maybe, like most of the world, he blames us for this." Tony offered and she stopped.

"That's what I thought." Putting a hand to her forehead, she groaned, "And if you think so too then that must be it. He blames us. He fucking  _blames_  us because he wasn't there."

"Or he blames himself?" Tony tried, wishing he hadn't spoken at all, but she shook her head.

"No. He would have come to us if that were it. Clint blames himself for a lot of things but he doesn't avoid them," She shook her head, "No. He blames us. He watched me look for him like some idiot and didn't show himself because he thinks we killed his family."

Her tone was beyond mocking and cold and despite his animosity against Clint, Tony found himself defending him, "Sounds like he might just be grieving. A lot of people blame us and to see your family turn to dust in front of you without any way to stop it or avenge them? I mean - I don't blame them for coming after the heroes supposed to stop this."

"Except Clint was one of those heroes." Natasha countered, "He knows the fight. He's fought the fight. What the hell gives him the right to think we  _let_  this happen?" She forced herself to her feet, slamming a fist into the wall and leaving white chalk over her knuckles.

Tony watched her pant for a moment, calming down, before asking, "Natasha. Do you blame us?"

She rounded on him, "Of course I blame us," She snapped, "We could have done so much more, we could have  _won_ , but we were divided and we didn't call on people who could have helped." She rubbed a hand over her red knuckles, "We didn't listen to  _you."_

Oh. Tony opened his mouth to answer but a call from downstairs stopped him.

"Tony! Anna's asking for you."

Natasha and he stared at each other and he watched as she literally locked herself away. She straightened and let her hands drop to her sides, tilting her head toward the door, "You should go. I'll be alright." It would be a mistake to argue that so he simply nodded and stood to pass her, putting a hand on her shoulder as he did, and heading downstairs.

Anna was in Steve's arms and when she saw him she reached out sleepily and he took her into his own. Despite her nap, she was clearly tired again now and it had been long enough since dinner for her to sleep again. Steve followed him up to their room and went to the bathroom as Tony went about undressing their daughter and getting her ready for bed.

"Daddy," She murmured and he paused to look at her, "Are donkeys real?"

He blinked, "What?"

"Steve told me about animals before in the book we read." She explained, "And there was a donkey and a cow but the cow got sold. And then a beanstalk grew." She lifted her hands up to show him how fast it had grown, shooting them up from her chest to point to the ceiling, "But he told me today that beanstalks aren't real."

"He did, huh."  _Oh Steve._

"So are donkeys not real too?"

Tony sat her up and pulled her pyjama top down over her head. They'd gotten a few pairs from several runs and this one had a mug on it and said the words _if you don’t have hot chocolate_ , _you don’t have my love_ which was a phrase he hoped she'd never think to use against him.

"No honey, donkeys are real." He told her, "And so are cows."

"I know cows are real," She said, her 'duh' voice popping out now, "They make sense and we need milk. But donkeys are weird, they don't make sense and they're  _ugly_. I didn't think they were real."

Tony laughed softly, "Well Anna, just because something's ugly, doesn't make it pretend," He said, "Donkeys are very real. And not everyone finds them ugly too."

"I know that," Anna scoffed, "Other donkeys obviously like to look at donkeys." He grinned, shaking his head, "What? What's funny?"

"Nothing," He lifted her off of the bed so he could pull the sheets back, letting her climb back on herself, "It's time for bed."

"Will you kiss me goodnight?"

"Of course." He swiped her hair from her face and stroked it back, kissing her forehead again and kneeling beside her, rubbing her stomach with his other hand until she started to fall asleep. Once he was sure she was gone, he stood and turned to see Steve leaning against the doorway with his arms folded. He was smiling, "What?"

"Nothing," He came into the room, already in his baggy white Tee and shorts that he wore to bed, "I just love seeing you with her." Tony rolled his eyes, leaving the room to get changed himself but Steve caught his arm before he could leave, "Hey. You okay?"

"Fine," He didn't shake the grip off, "I'm just gonna get dressed."

"You know, it's nothing I haven't seen before." Steve reminded him dryly and now Tony took his hand off of his arm, "I just - "

"Yeah well, that's not the case with us anymore is it," He cut him off, "And I'm not getting naked with my daughter four feet away from me either."

He left the room, locking himself in the bathroom and forcing his emotions back. He stared at himself in the mirror and breathed in deep, so tired of the tension he and Steve had but they knew they couldn’t work. He’d promised baby steps years ago but Steve had thrown that all away after the ‘Snap’.

Trust couldn’t be earned that quickly.

When he returned, Steve was already in his cot and the double bed was free for him but once he lay under the covers he knew that he wasn’t getting any sleep tonight, so he stood and left. May as well work.

Downstairs, he turned on a single lamp and lifted a holographic screen from his tablet to check on his probes.

The probe that he'd sent out last January had just passed into another Universe and had picked up numerous life-forms and planets but none matched the signature that matched Thanos' blood. He checked probe-2 and couldn't get a signal, which meant that someone out there had destroyed it or Rocket's spiel about it  _'never going out of range'_  had been a lie. Probe-3 was useless too and Probe-4 was stuck in orbit around a barren planet with seven moons.

Leaving that, he took out his transponder and sent out a signal. This time he tried the Mutants, or X-men, and gave the same message that he relayed each time. 

_We are Here. We are the Avengers. We need Help to Defeat Thanos. Can you Join us?_

So far, he'd communicated with the Fantastic Four but had had no answer and he'd searched for the Giant Man that Steve had brought to their fight but hadn't gotten word there either. Fury was a no-show and SHIELD was down and he wasn't really sure who else to ask. He'd sent the signal to other Realms as per Thor's instructions and to other planets that Rocket suggested but either the message was shit or no one was around to receive it.

He tried each one several times anyway because the Universe had to throw them a bone. They hadn't been able to fight Thanos the first time and now there was less of them. They needed more people, they needed an army, and they needed a plan. Looking for Thanos was all well and good but he had no idea what they'd do when they found him. He had all six infinity stones and he'd exterminated half the Universe with it, god knew what else he could do.

He hunched over and now that he was alone, he allowed himself to sob just a little, when a hand on his shoulder almost made him lurch off of the sofa in surprise. He recovered and Natasha rounded the sofa to face him.

"Hey," She greeted, "I came down to do the same. Couldn't sleep."

"Yeah." He rasped, wiping at his face, "No luck though." He put the transponder down and sniffed, "You feeling any better?"

"Oh I feel great," She said, "You?"

"Perfect." He stood to stretch, clearing his throat, before abruptly deciding  _to hell with it,_  "Actually, you know what? I'm fucking exhausted."

She nodded, like she'd expected that, “You want to say anymore?”

Tony scoffed, "I feel like I've been put through the ringer a hundred times and each time hurts in places I didn't know I had. How's that?"

"No, I get that," Natasha said, "And it might sound a little selfish, but at least it's easier for you than me, so you've got that going."

He paused, his slowly growing relief that she'd come to talk vanishing, "I'm sorry, what?" He stared in disbelief, not quite sure where the hell that had come from, "How is it easier for me? I - what?"

"You have Steve," She said, as though that explained it all, "And Anna. You have people."

"And that makes it easier?" He scoffed, "You have people, you have  _us_. You just don't  _want_  us, there's the difference," He tucked a strand of hair behind his ear, "And Steve? He makes this complicated, not easy."

"It’s not as easy as before, no, but don’t pretend this isn't everything you've ever wanted Tony," Natasha sighed, "It's easier for you because you  _have_  that, that's all I meant."

Tony gaped at her, and suddenly he knew he was going to snap. This was it, and he was too exhausted to even blow up properly.

"What I _wanted?_ What I - oh my god," He ran a hand down his face, struggling to calm down, "You're right. You're absolutely right, what I've always wanted is to have a kid with my ex. To co-parent with my ex. To have a child during one of the worst periods in human history and to keep her from the outside world. To have a  _child_  and not do any of the things that I've wanted to do with them, not to show them everything I've always wanted to show them. Not to send her to kindergarten or to play-dates."

"Okay - "

"But to teach her that  _silence is survival_. That she can't read certain things because it might give her dangerous ideas. That I have to  _lie_  to her despite promising I'd never have to do that when I finally had kids. Hell, I didn't even have a  _baby-shower_  because my team was in shambles and  _she's_  never had a goddamn proper birthday party but it's easier for me? Oh okay! What the fuck is easier?" His blood was hot in his veins, "Look, I get you're hurting but don't you dare try to make it seem like we have it any easier than you."

"Tony - "

"Easy would be being in a stable relationship. Easy would be Thanos never happening. Easy would be trusting Steve and not worrying every time he tells me something that he's keeping another huge bomb from me. Easy would be not  _living_  like this." He collapsed back onto the sofa, putting his head in his hands, and suddenly the only sound was a steady drip from the kitchen sink.

Natasha crossed over him to turn it off, twisting the knob tight to save their water, and when she was back she put a hand on his head and pulled her into her arms. He let her, holding on tight, and his anger ebbed in his veins.

She hummed, "Well it took some prompting, but you finally let it all out, huh." Her tone had softened and he pushed her away.

"What?" He rubbed at his eyes, "You - "

"You take on too much Tony," She said, "I could literally smell the stress on you today, I knew you needed an outlet."

He blinked, blinked, and blinked again, "I'm sorry, what the hell are you talking about? Was all that shit about Clint a lie? You wanted me to have a breakdown and needed to lay some foundations first, what - ?"

"No, everything about Clint was real." She interrupted, "It wasn't to cause a breakdown, I’m not that much of a bitch, but I saw you after you left to put Anna to bed and then I heard you come down here. I just - you let me vent. I wanted to do the same."

Tony huffed out a short, sniff-filled laugh, when he understood, "There are better ways to offer a shoulder to cry on." He said, his blood cooling.

She nodded, not even looking embarrassed. "I suppose. But in my defence, I did believe you are Steve were in a relationship again, and I didn’t think that was stressful," She shrugged, "I mean you've been having sex, so I assumed."

He sighed, "Room not soundproof?" She shook her head, "Yeah, well. That’s past-tense and it was only once."

"Twice."

"Twice then. I was upset and he was - I don't know." He tugged at his hair, "Sometimes I think it's a good idea, us being together, but then - he does something. Or says something. And I have Anna to think about."

"Have you had this conversation with him?"

"We have more important things to worry about."

She put a hand under his chin and turned his face toward hers, "Tony, any day Thanos could get bored and could use his glove again. Anything could happen. And even if he doesn’t, we're planning to kill him and that's going to be a hell of a fight," He tried to look away but she wouldn't let him, "Don't begrudge yourself any happiness you can find until that day. _Live_ while you survive. Otherwise there's no point."

"It’s not that - " Something smashed upstairs and they snapped their heads up, standing immediately and running for the stairs. Natasha grabbed a shotgun from under the kitchen counter but Tony was ahead of her, racing for Anna's room. Another crash and Bruce stepped out, looking ready to fight with a baseball bat in hand, and though the sounds seemed to be coming from Natasha's room Tony still felt panicked.

He skid to a halt outside his own room and saw Anna sitting up in her bed with her blanket on her knees and her eyes wide. He ran toward her, picking her up, "Hey honey. Hey. It's okay."

"Is it a monster?" She buried her face in his neck and he held her tight, turning toward Steve's cot to find it empty. Another crash sounded, nearer to the door now, and he spun around to face it. He heard Bruce yell and the sound of the bat and then something was snarling. Anna whimpered in his ear as claws ripped through the wood of their door and one of those creatures from the battle in Wakanda forced its way inside. 

Tony stared at it, panting hard, and all he could think was that his armour was underground a mile away and his daughter was vulnerable and in his arms. He couldn't protect her right now, he had nothing, and if that thing was in here then Bruce wasn't out there. And neither was Natasha.

"Daddy," Anna squeezed her arms around him, shaking, and he backed up toward the window. The creature rose to its hind-legs, hissing behind its teeth, and then suddenly it was headless and its body fell backward. A shield bounced over the walls and Steve kicked the head away before their daughter could see, hauling the creature away and tossing it down the stairs. He was gone for a moment and then returned with an all-clear signal.

"Oh thank god," Tony pressed kisses to Anna's head, "Hey it's okay, baby-girl. It's okay. Cap got the monster, it's gone." She refused to let go of him however and Steve walked around to put a hand on her head.

“Is she okay?” He asked and Anna lifted her head up to look at him, “Hey. Hey, Anna. Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” She told him, sniffing, “I was just a – little scared.”

He smiled, pushing her hair back from her face though some strands remained stuck to her wet cheeks. The two of them stayed with her until she calmed down and eventually, she lay back in bed. Natasha and Bruce had barricaded the broken window as best as they could in the meantime and the wound on Bruce’s stomach was already healing thanks to the Hulk.

Downstairs, they gathered to discuss what the hell had happened now that the shock was over. The creature’s body was in a bag that Steve said he’d dispose of tomorrow but the main question was how it had gotten here.

“I thought those things were in Wakanda,” Tony said, “And most of them were dead too.”

“They turned to dust yeah,” Steve agreed, “But there were a few left behind. Okoye said they’d killed the stragglers though.”

“Well obviously one of them decided to come sight-see New York.” Natasha muttered.

“Those things came out of these huge ships in Wakanda,” Bruce said, “Maybe when they lost to us here, they had one waiting, but we killed their leaders before it could open.”

“They killed themselves to get through the barriers before,” Steve added, “What’s to say they got tired of living in a dark ship and a few killed themselves to make a way through for others here?”

“So there could be more out there?” Tony swallowed, looking out through the window into the forest outside, “Wouldn’t we have seen these ships?”

“It could be underground.” Bruce said, “They came out of nowhere in Wakanda. And I have been seeing bizarre seismic activity in the area, it’s all on my tablet, but I wasn’t sure what it could be.”

“Could be a ship.” Natasha agreed and Steve stood, towering over them.

“Alright then,” He announced, “Tomorrow, we’ll go out in twos to search for this ship and then radio in when it’s been found. Bruce, Tony – if you can, maybe build something that can destroy it. Blow it up.”

“Sure – ”

“No, I can’t go,” Tony protested, standing as well, “I can’t leave Anna here alone with those things out there. No way.”

“Friday’s attached to the Bunker – ”

“No, Steve, I’m not leaving her!” He glared at him, “I’ll get my armour in the morning and I’m staying here. I’m not leaving an AI to protect my daughter from alien monsters.”

“She’s my daughter too,” Steve snapped, “And if all of us don’t work to get rid of this ship, she could be in even more danger.”

“Well I’m sorry but I can’t leave her here alone.” Tony said, “I can’t. I’d just keep thinking that I’d come back and – one of them – or some angry civilian came – I can’t.”

“Tony – ”

“I can’t!”

“We can contact Rhodes.” Natasha offered, “He can scout instead.” Tony turned to her, grateful, “And once we’ve found it, all we need is to blow it up, right?”

“No need to look.” A voice said from the doorway and they all spun around, Tony almost calling to Friday for having not initiated the intruder alarm, when he recognised their visitor, “I know where it is.”

Clint stood in all black, his hair shaved thin and studded gloves on his hands. “Took you long enough to figure it was here.” He said, “Especially since you’ve gone there about five times a month.”

Natasha rose to her feet, looking at him, “Your farm.”

“Right beneath it.” He said.

.


End file.
